About

My name is Elizabeth. I go by Lizzy. With a y. I have a lot of interesting, witty things to say about a wide-ranging variety of topics, so you should definitely stick around. Unless you have, like, a gypsy wagon to wash or a boa constrictor to feed. If your super colorful and archaic method of transportation and/or reptile is awaiting your attention, by all means, away with you. Actually, if you have a gypsy wagon, I would be happy to share my contact information and meet up sometime to check it out. I mean, I'm a skinny, not-particularly-fit 23 year old girl, so we would definitely be doing this in a public place, but I would really like to see a gypsy wagon in person. If, however, you have a boa constrictor, I'm good on that. I saw one at the zoo once, and I'm no Parseltongue, but it clearly had a shady attitude. Honestly, you should invest in something that will show a little more affection. Like a puppy. If you are allergic to puppies, takes some Claritin, then get a puppy. I realize that Britney Spears was superhot in that video with the huge yellow snake, and that you feel like a badass and stuff, but you're creeping me out. Plus, Brad Pitt has a dog. I don't know that for a fact or anything, but I am 92% sure he would support you getting medication so that you could have a dog if he knew you were so affection-starved and allergy-prone that you thought a boa constrictor was the solution. 

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a licensed therapist. I do like dogs. Not that I write about them in my blog. I mean, now I kind of want to do a post on them, but I would limit it to one. Maybe a picture here and there, but that's really it.